Thursday, May 19, 2011

Nicely done

So, last night I walk into my house following work. I immediately smell a nasty odor wafting through the house....can't put my finger on it....but it's NAS-TY. I walk through the living room...there are my children on their laptops....and there is dog vomit on the carpet in the middle of the living room.

"Nice." I say as I continue to walk through.

I get to the kitchen...the nasty smell intensifies. I follow it....into the bathroom....there is a pot full of poo-stew. I almost vomit from the smell.....

"Nice." I say as I flush the toilet.

The poo-stew swirls around for a minute as it rises close to the rim.....clogged.

"Nice." I say as I walk out of the bathroom to find the plunger.

"Mommmmmmmm.....what's for dinner?" the children say from behind their laptops in the living room.

"Nice." I say as I walk out the front door and walk over to my neighbor's house for a NICE little break.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The constipated betta and me


So, my Becky brought home a betta fish named Replacement Zach....don't ask. We really haven't had good luck with fish....any kind, any size....they last about two weeks, and then belly up. Needless to say, I figured this betta was doomed from the get-go and therefore I don't get too attached. Well, we've had Replacement Zach about two months now and I find myself warming up to this stupid fish. I like how he watches me when I enter the room...I like how he follows me when I walk through the room, by that I just mean he swims from one side of the bowl to the other, he doesn't literally follow me. Anyhow, the other day I walk into the room and I don't see Replacement Zach. I walk up to the bowl....and there he is....laying at the bottom of the bowl. I let out a loud, "Ahhhhhh....." and tap the bowl. He jumps, well not literally jumps, and swims up to see me. After a few minutes he sinks back to the bottom of the bowl. I am concerned.

When my Becky comes home I tell her about Replacement Zach. She googles his behavior and says, "Mom, Replacement Zach is constipated and that is why he sinks to the bottom of the bowl. We can't feed him for four days and then feed him a skinless pea....it should clean him out." We are in day 2 of the fast.

Can I just say that I have been having some stomach issues....I feel a bit "heavy," like I am sinking to the bottom of my bowl. So, today as I'm in the bathroom trying to work out my issues....it dawns on me that me and this betta have something in common....so I've decided to try the fast followed by a skinless pea....we'll see if it works.